Gay Sex Ed: Topping and Bottoming
If you received the kiss, you're the submissive one. There is no aspect of sex that doesn't have, at its core, an aspect of power. So part of the thing that you have to ask yourself is, 'What am I comfortable with?
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- Genetics May Determine if Gay Men Are Tops or Bottoms;
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Do I like initiating sex? Do I like telling my partner what to do, or do I like being told what to do? You might like taking your car for a service just as much as servicing it yourself.
As Miller explains, there are outside forces that, dating back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men from truly digging into what sexual behaviors we might actually enjoy. The ongoing fetishization of masculinity means that the traditionally submissive role of the bottom is associated with effeminacy.
Chris White, an expert in health promotion and the director and principal investigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network in San Francisco, takes this one step further. So there's some shaming there.
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And it's feminine type shaming, as well. Tops may get the glory, but bottoms make the world go round. To be a good bottom, a guy has to know what works for his body, how to maintain a healthy and hygienic rear end, and how to navigate his sexual health without compromising his pleasure. Quite simply, tops have it easy when it comes to sex, because being a good bottom is no easy job. Popular myth: If an HIV-positive guy is always the bottom, he will never transmit the virus.
Simply put, a gay man who bottoms is more at risk for HIV.
The sensitive lining of the anus is more susceptible to cuts and abrasions during sex. Regardless of his answer, your best option for protection is the use of Truvada as PrEP, because it places you in control of your own health regardless of his status or condom use. As a bottom, you can negotiate condom use, but your partner is the one who wears the rubber. If you bottom and do not wear condoms percent of the time, the use of PrEP will afford you with the certainty of protection.
Once again, a bottom who is HIV-positive can protect himself from transmitting by consistently taking their HIV medication and staying in care.
Top, bottom and versatile
If you are a gay man, you may have a position preference, but chances are you will change it up every now and then. Whether you are a guy who prefers to top or just a big ol' bottom, make sure you know the ins and outs of both roles so that you can be pleasing to your partner while protecting yourself. Read Tyler Curry's first installment on healthy sex here. All Rights Reserved.
Gay Sex Ed: Topping and Bottoming 101
Search form Search. Health Love and Sex. The second installment in a series designed to educate queer men on the tenets of healthy sex.
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